June 16, 2017 marked a year since my cousin passed away. I've processed grief and pain in many ways over the years, but on this day I honored him by going on a hike. One thing I was sure about Chase was that he loved to be outside, to explore, and to see new places. This hike was unlike anything i'd ever done. I know now I probably shouldn't have gone alone (rookie mistake), but I'm here to tell the tale. These three hours stretched me in ways I wasn't expecting. It was a steep and exhausting hike. There were a few moments that I found myself so caught up in not only my exhaustion, but thinking so much of Chase. I stopped, and with my heart pounding so rapidly, I cried out. It reminded me of how my mom would sometimes advice me to go out in the middle of nowhere and just scream. It reminded me of a scene in a movie, but it was real, and I needed that release. The end of this hike was so worth it. I was overlooking the entire valley. There were a few trees up there, and the one that I collapsed at had a swing attached to it. It was simple in nature, but I was suddenly so grateful. I had nothing to get back
to at the bottom of that mountain, so I laid there for a while and swung on that swing grieving in my own way.
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This is a blog about the ups & downs of early
adulthood, God's goodness & faithfulness, & life in other countries. “Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told."
Habakkuk 1:5 NIV Archives
June 2017
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